Writing a Tribute for Someone You Loved
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Someone has asked you to write a tribute. Or you've decided you want to, because no one else knew them quite the way you did. You sit down with a blank page and suddenly all the words that came so easily when you talked about them — all the stories, the memories, the things you loved most — seem to disappear.
This is completely normal. Here's how to find your way back to them.
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**Start with a memory, not a summary**
The instinct is to start at the beginning — to summarise a life chronologically, hitting the milestones. But the best tributes rarely start there. They start with a moment. A specific, sensory, particular moment that captures something true about the person.
*The way she always had the kettle on before you'd even taken your coat off.*
*The way he laughed at his own jokes before he'd finished telling them.*
*The way she'd call just to say she was thinking of you.*
Start with one of those. The rest will follow.
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**Write down everything first, edit later**
Give yourself permission to write badly. Set a timer for twenty minutes and just write — everything you remember, everything you loved, everything that made them them. Don't worry about order or eloquence or length. Just get it down.
You'll find the tribute inside that mess. The editing comes after.
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**Ask the people who knew them differently**
You knew one version of them. Their oldest friend knew another. Their colleague knew another still. If you're writing on behalf of a family, ask people to share one memory or one word that describes them. You'll hear things that surprise you, and they'll give you language you didn't have.
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**Focus on the specific, not the general**
"She was kind" tells us very little. "She remembered everyone's birthday, including people she'd only met once" shows us everything. The more specific you are, the more universal the tribute becomes — because everyone in the room will have their own version of that same specific kindness.
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**It doesn't have to be long**
Some of the most moving tributes are three paragraphs. Some are a single page. There is no correct length. The right length is the one that says what needs to be said without stretching to fill space or cutting short what matters.
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**Read it aloud**
Before you consider it finished, read it out loud at least once. You'll hear the places where it stumbles, where it rushes, where it needs a breath. You'll also hear the places where it's right — and you'll know.
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**It's okay if it's not perfect**
It won't be. No tribute ever fully captures a person, because people are not fully capturable. What it needs to do is feel true. And true is something only you can give it.
*If you're looking for a beautifully designed tribute card or keepsake to accompany your words, our Keepsakes collection was made for exactly this.*